Sanjaya Malakar SNL Weekend Update
Despite how much I dislike his vocal talent, this Sanjaya is becoming the talk of the media and everyone is capitalizing on it. I bet even the producers of American Idol are, hence the reason why he is still there.
Anyway check this skit on SNL about Sanjaya Malakar. It’s hilarious.
Man returns phone to carrier… without leaving car
Talk about an irate customer. This was from engadget.
Phone doesn’t work? Mad and have a 4,000 pound car? Good, just smash it through the front door and all your cell phone problems will be solved.
When we talk about phone use leading to traffic incidents, this is not typically what we mean. It seems a gentleman in Korea — we’ll simply call him “Kim,” since that’s the only name we have for him — got just a little upset when his shiny new Samsung handset still wasn’t working after sixteen calls and two in-store visits to carrier SK Telecom. What really set the dude off, though, was a SKT employee suggesting that the phone be replaced with a different model when the original was out of stock (what nerve!). Next thing you know, Kim’s chilling outside SK Telecom headquarters, filled with rage — and, oh yeah, a 4,000 pound Mercedes with “Delinquent SK” scrawled across it. Them’s fightin’ words, of course, and SKT tried to get him to skedaddle. The attempt backfired, though, when Kim skedaddled right through the building’s revolving doors. Lesson to carriers: do everything in your power to replace your customers’ defective phones after a maximum of fifteen support calls. Lesson to customers: if you aim for the glass instead of the door, you can probably make it into the building without as much damage to the front end.
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Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.
Here are last year’s winners…
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p. m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p. m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Thanks to Johann for the email forward
Potato or Penis? Apple or Ass? You Decide!
Growing up we were all taught by our parents, teachers and doctors that fruits and vegetables are good for you. Although I agree, I don’t know if I can eat fruits and veggies that looks like some part of the human body… Check the pictures out, their kind of funny. 
Potato or Penis?
Apple or Ass?
Britney, Paris, Lindsay: Who is the Most Popular of Them All?
Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Which of these personalities does the Internet community love more? Yes we see their faces on magazines, their behaviors caught on tape, and their names constantly mentioned on the radio. But which of these media grabbers does the online world love more?
I visited the Overture Keyword Tool to find out who was search more and what about them, that the online community loves. No surprise that we find the ‘head shaving, tattoo manic, umbrella hitting and rehab favorite Britney Spears’ in front of the pack. The name ‘Britney Spears’ was searched 3.6 Million times in the month of February. Paris and Lindsay was a far second and third with just a little over 1 Million searches.
It’s safe to assume that 50% of those searches were from Males who can’t afford to pay for real porn, as it is evident when terms like ‘uncensored, nude and pictures’ followed the keyword ‘Britney Spears’. The same can be said for the keywords ‘Paris Hilton’ and ‘Lindsay Lohan’.
Well you know what they say, no media is ever bad media and I’m sure most internet sites such as Peogles love to capitalize on these high searched keywords. Who wouldn’t? They bring it traffic and perverted guys. Sorry dudes. This is a PG-13 site. Keep moving.
Kermit the Frog Music Video: Hurt
Here is Kermit’s music video debut called ‘Hurt’. He gives us a look at his sorrow and pain. Warning, it is not for the faint of heart, but it sure is funny.